you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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