Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize