She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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