New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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