Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there's paper in my vomit.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
