woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
