No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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