Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
