You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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