i will never coherently bang her
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
