you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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