when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
