I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
