This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
