In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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