I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
