found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I would ride that face into the sunset
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
