im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Im part way to drunk.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
