there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What happened to fro yo and sex?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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