Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize