NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
