In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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