YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You are a genius and a whore.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
