I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
