just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
