you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
