Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize