someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
