Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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