Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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