i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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