I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
