nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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