im six kinds of drunk right now
there was a trapeze. enough said
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He did a backflip because drugs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
