Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
