In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
