I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
