She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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