How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
