found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
