So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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