omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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