At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize