We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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