He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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