Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
