I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.