Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser