they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i need some magic done to my vagina
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
