I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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