i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
