it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize