If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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