I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
