For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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